When you hear the word “navigate” what comes to mind? Steering something physical like a car to a desired destination? Or something intangible like a relationship, a challenging task, or emotions? I think our answer is influenced by the way our brain is wired as well as by what’s going on in our life. I’ll get to that below.

A partial definition of NAVIGATE from the Cambridge dictionary says, “… to FIND a direction across, along, or over an area…”  (emphasis mine) To FIND means to look for, seek, find options, be intentional.

So, in keeping it real, here is an area where I’m struggling to navigate. Where I’m looking to FIND a direction across, along or over so I can arrive at my desired destination:

Navigating how to embrace the blessing and joy of being 65 (so many blessings) and see those in the crinkled skin and age spots and physical shifts that come with time. Navigating how to revamp my closet to simplify dressing nice while respecting my age yet avoiding the “trying to look younger” and the “old and frumpy” mindsets. Navigating the truth that “Age is just a number” (which it is) alongside the cultural message that growing old is bad.

My sister shared a quote she recently heard, “You have never been this old before and you’ll never be this young again.” Hmm… At first, I frowned. But looking closer I saw it differently. I think my “direction across” lies in treasuring the gift of wisdom gained through the experiences in my first 65 years and knowing the richness of that wisdom will reveal new opportunities never presented before or were lost in the busyness of younger years. I can look with expectancy to the joys and adventures and treasure of special moments yet to come. I can remember that each season in life is new and I’ve navigated through most of them pretty well so far. And above all, I know who holds me in the palm of His hand and whose Spirit guides us in the things to come.

I suspect the real struggle is between my mind and my heart. What to hold on to and what to let go of.  And I suspect that is often where our struggles lie. Do you relate?

Comfy is good. I like comfy. I usually look for comfy. And once I locate it, I usually choose it so I can snuggle in and say, “Ahh, this is nice.” End of story, right? Well… I don’t really think so. As wonderful as comfy is, there is an uncomfortableness that eventually stirs inside when we consistently default to choosing the comfortable.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and need the comfort of snuggling up with a steamy cup of yumminess on a cold day. Sitting in my favorite chair with a good book. A good conversation with people I love. Enjoying the beauty of Spring flowers in the yard, plus a much longer list. It’s these kind of pleasures that bring comfort and a sense of play and rest which are required for us to be physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally healthy. But all too often I’ve chosen to not reach out to that friend because I didn’t know what to say. Or grabbed that 3^rd or 4^th cookie just because I wanted it. Or shrank back from sharing a thought because of the fear of being judged… But these things matter. And I was too comfortable choosing comfort over relationship, over discipline, over courage. I knew within me something needed to shift.

So, my necessary step to move me out of being so comfortable with comfy was to do something way outside of my comfort zone. I mean past “kinda scary” into the realm of, “Gosh, am I really doing this??” Beyond the thought of, “Maybe I will or maybe I won’t” and on to, “If I do this it has the potential to change my life!” It was time for me to put up or shut up. So after 50+ years of thinking about it (thanks to Ripcord, a TV show when I was really young 😊) I decided jumping out of a perfectly good airplane was a MUST. I didn’t want my idol of comfort to continue to be my excuse for settling for less. Not for me or for my life. To be a good steward of the gifts and talents God planted within me means I can’t always choose comfort and play small. And to enjoy life abundant I have to step into it, or in this case jump into it, even when it’s risky.

On November 20, 2021 I jumped out of that perfectly good airplane. Woo Hoo!! And it was SPECTACULAR!! The rush of falling 120 mph for almost a minute followed by the vast beauty and quiet of gently floating in midair for five minutes can’t be duplicated with words. It must be experienced. Was it life changing? Maybe not for everyone but it was for me. It blew away some of my self-imposed obstacles that held me in my comfort zones and expanded my vision of possibilities for myself and my life. It’s crazy how many more options and opportunities I see now. OK here’s a funny, but true example of what I’ve seen even in little things. I usually stand in the shower five extra minutes just because I love the hot water. But seriously, now I find myself thinking, “Turn the water off because there’s bigger adventures waiting.” So in addition to celebrating a lower power bill because of less hot water, I celebrate a shift in mindset. A willingness to step out in faith into bigger visions. To risk more. And to remember the reward of what the actual experience is like when I don’t settle for comfy. Life is hard and nothing is perfect so to me it makes it even more necessary to not skimp on the life-giving stuff by settling for our definition of comfort at that moment.

So, (hmm…I’ve used that word a lot in this blog) what impact has this had on me besides the length of my showers? More courage to joyfully move forward in something that feels very risky and is beyond me. And that’s good because it keeps me humble and dependent upon Father God. For those of you who have been reading my blogs, you know I’ve felt the Lord calling me to Unleash my Voice. It’s not about adding more clutter and noise out there just to express my opinions or views but to Speak Life with inspiration, encouragement and truth for the purpose of building up the Body of Christ.

Often it is the places of our pain that Jesus turns into purpose and this is the case here. Since I was 10 years old, I’ve struggled with words. I believed a lie of the enemy and I felt inadequate to choose the right words to communicate well or make people hear what I was trying to say. This became a self-fulfilling prophecy and particularly over the past 25 years I struggled and retreated in ways nobody really knows. Filled with great emotion and disappointment, sometimes it was all I could do to keep engaging. Comfort was not putting myself in positions to be disappointed again. But God… (what a powerful truth that is!) began to stir in my heart the reality that I DO have a voice and it comes from the identity He planted deep inside me. And I have a RESPONSIBILITY to express it through the ways He has gifted me so I can speak life to others. And it is needed for such a time as this. So for those reasons this blog was born. For now, writing is a better way for me to choose my words so I’ve been learning to unleash my voice here and I appreciate your encouragement!!!

But now it’s time for the next jump. (Gulp!) It’s more than just me unleashing MY voice. I am to help others find joy and freedom in unleashing their voice to also speak life. There is waaaaayyyy too much life-sucking noise out there. As believers we are called to build up and strengthen the Body of Christ so Speaking Life is like finding our life vest to throw out to others in a drowning world. And I don’t think that happens as we cling to our comfort zones.

You may not struggle with using your “voice” but most of us can use encouragement to keep going or just get started, whether it’s verbal, written, music, art, relationships, or whatever God has gifted you with. So I invite you to visit my new Unleashing Voices Facebook page www.facebook.com/unleashingvoices where I’ll begin sharing resources and thoughts and tools to encourage you to take a look at your “voice”.  And if you feel a tug to go a little deeper, I will send you an invitation to my free private Facebook group where we’ll explore more together. It’s awful to feel like you don’t belong or you’re too different or you’re not able to make an impact. Been there. Done that. The great news is that’s not God’s choice for you either. And I invite you to learn more.

OK, instead of a mic drop I feel like I just repeated that 120 mph drop by making this “jump” official and putting it out there to the world. It’s risky and it’s definitely outside of my comfort zone. But I remember that sweet ride floating in the air and seeing the horizon from a much different vantage point. I want more of that and I want you to experience that too. You may not be ready to jump (all in His timing) but you may be ready to consider how long your showers are. Let’s learn together!

My gosh, just looking around every day and particularly online I can become overwhelmed with messages that seem to scream at me WHAT to value and WHY I should. Sometimes I want to shout back, “Do you think I don’t have a brain??” In reality, I know it’s not my brain they are targeting. It’s my emotions. Our emotions. They are creating a call to action for us to respond because we “think” we have a deficit and need their solution. Scarcity mindset sells because we don’t like to feel behind or left out or not enough. So it’s often a short jump over to problem solving and cha-ching, we jump on board so we don’t have to face those feeling any longer. (However, there may be other feelings after a bit that we get to deal with. 😉)

Now let’s dig a little deeper. What drives our assessment of value? What do we base it on? Obviously things like quality or need or desire come to mind. But let’s take a step further. What drives us as we consider a decision for a call to action within ourselves? Once again, quality or need or desire come to mind. And that’s where the scarcity mindset can once again kick in. Sometimes, and for some people (I may or may not be a member of the club) we place top value on the desire or expectation of the need for Perfect. We may focus that desire or expectation towards ourselves (Hmmm…) or others, and though… WHY???

Is Perfect a real thing? No, except for moments in time. Is it part of our dream world? Very likely possibly maybe!  So this begs the question, Why do we chase it? Some of you may stop reading at this point because you can’t relate and are thinking, “Whaaaat???” But for those of us who do or have peeps who do, leaning into the question of “Why?” can reveal insights, which I call Ah-ha moments.

The reasons for chasing Perfect can stem from many things like fear of: failure, rejection, hurt, limiting beliefs. Or feeling the need to: self-protect, measure up, be the Best, keep up the façade. But doesn’t that all go back to those thoughts and emotions of scarcity? Why do we let our responses be birthed from such a desolate place?

The good new is, and listen to me (I’m talking to myself too), You are NOT perfect! Nor shall you ever be. Nor are we required to be. Now re-read and let it soak in… aaahhh!

So, OK, we probably really already know that, yet we can jump right on the “Toil & Struggle Bus” chasing Perfect to avoid those very same emotions I mentioned at the beginning; feeling behind, left out, not enough. From my personal experience, from which I hope I’ve gained some wisdom, the more we actively seek Perfect, the more we feel behind, left out, not enough, because we don’t go forward. We get stuck. Analysis paralysis sets in. Or maybe disappointment and shame and we dig our hole a little deeper. I am learning it is OK to Go then Grow. It’s on-the-job-training for this journey of life. Will it be perfect? Not a chance. Does it need to be? Nope. Do you really think others are requiring that of you? No, and if they are it may be time to re-evaluate that relationship.

We all have something calling our heart. God placed it within our identity and it resides there even if covered up or forgotten. His grace is abundant to reveal it to us and we are not called to a mindset of scarcity or fear. The allure of Perfect can distract us from the great beauty found in the bravery of “not-perfect”, real, authentic. That’s where the emotion of scarcity and fear are replaced with hope and inspiration and connection. So let’s embrace it. Whatever is calling your heart, Get Started! It won’t be perfect so stop thinking it should be. This truth gives me permission for this blog. For moving forward even though I have more questions than answers. For unleashing my voice and helping others do the same. For sharing my Real with you. For dreaming bigger.  And whatever good may result, I will give Him praise and declare His works.

I’ve always felt that one day I will go skydiving. Something about the freedom in free-falling and feeling the wind in my hair is very appealing to me. To see our ground view from the vantage point high in the sky without looking through a window would be amazing. Hmmm… maybe that has something to do with my childhood recurring dream of flying in our neighbor’s backyard. Or maybe it was just a sleepy fantasy related to The Flying Nun, except without the big hat with wings.

But truthfully, I haven’t yet made the jump out of a plane yet. I thought about doing it to celebrate my 50^th birthday, then my 60^th birthday. But keeping it real, yes, there may be a little fear attached to the thought.

I tried a pretend version of skydiving in an indoor vertical wind tunnel. Although that removed the fear of falling to my death, it was physically strenuous and hard making sure I didn’t fly into the wall, and I felt like my arms were going to be yanked out of my shoulders. So, I’m thinking it wasn’t an accurate substitution for the real deal. Or at least not the same amazing experience I hear from actual skydivers.

I absolutely love the joy of fresh air blowing in my hair when riding through the countryside with the windows down, on a boat or jet-ski, riding a bike, on a roller coaster (some roller coasters) or sitting in a peaceful place with a breeze blowing. And I can certainly get a wonderful vantage point as I look across the terrain into the horizon when I travel on a plane. Or climbing 178 steps to the top of the Tybee Island Lighthouse like I recently experienced with my granddaughter Chayse. All of these provide me a pleasing result but not the same as what I imagine the real experience of skydiving provides.

So, I guess there is a question I must answer, “Am I really going to do it?” OR “Am I going to settle for the lesser things?” In a way I think I view this as a litmus test for my mindset of life. Living fully or settling. Adventurous in faith or familiar and comfy.

God created me as an Abstract / Random processor. (More on the actual beauty of that another day.) However, that doesn’t align to what our culture and the traditional marketplace has normally valued.  And regrettably I have allowed it to speak awkwardness and failure and incompetence into my heart and mind. Yet in His mercy God has been shining light on those non-truths to reveal and heal places of my woundedness. He is a good, good Father. So now, with more confidence, I believe I am intended and being called to lean in and jump into that abstract randomness and embrace it verses feeling the need to massage it into something that aligns more with expectations of the world. Which, by the way, never lasts and is the opposite of life-giving.

As I continue this journey of Unleashing my Voice to help others unleash theirs, I think the way… the real way is… I gotta jump out of the figurative plane and experience the wind in my hair and amazing views that the jump provides. That’s the only way I can grasp the beauty and difference in the results of the pretend version and the real version. But gosh, what about my questions of How do I help others unleash their Voice? What will that look like? What will that feel like? Will I pack my “parachute” correctly or just fall? I don’t know yet, but I am certain the only way I will know is to trust and jump. Feel the wind in my hair and soak in the view. And even when I don’t pack my “parachute” correctly HE will catch me.

I believe some of you wonder about feeling the wind in your hair or seeing the beauty of the horizon, too. But let’s admit it, the comfortable and familiar are easier so why would we risk the big stuff. We all have questions to be answered and adventures to begin. And we often need encouragement. That’s my heart. So, despite my abstract randomness, and even because of it, whatever your jump needs to be, I am looking for ways to cheer you on!!! We can even jump together.

So, about that actual skydive jump… maybe it’s time…

I’ve been eat up most of my adult life with the need to “get it right”. I don’t remember that being much of a thing for me as a child or young adult but it somehow grew deep roots in me later on. I remember my precious Mama telling me lots of times, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right”. And that is wise teaching. But that’s not the kind of “get it right” I’m talking about. This kind is a little more questionable. Maybe it crept in during my 10 years as a single parent and I felt the weight to “get it right” for my daughter and son. Or maybe it came from expectations when I entered the corporate world, which was never my plan. (Susie Homemaker want-to-be right here) Or maybe it came from… well I don’t know when or where it came from and that’s not the point anyway. The point is the need to “get it right” can drive you or paralyze you. It’s done both to me at times. And too many times it’s been the later.

With that in mind, why this topic today? Well on my mission to intentionally find and use my voice more directly, most visibly right now in this new blog thing, here’s where I am… DANG, there’s a lot to learn! As I disclosed in Blog # 1, I have not idea what to do but I will figure it out, and so I will! But take the “I don’t know what to do” challenge and overlay it with a dubious “get it right” mindset and golly jeepers, it will keep you up at night, (Yawn). It would be full on entertainment if you could hear my head conversations sometimes. I’m trusting I’m not alone but sometimes I have to just laugh out loud at myself and be very grateful it’s a private conversation.

So on this adventure, which it is, the goal is to keep going forward and celebrate even the small steps. Even if they are not the Best “right” steps, nevertheless they are steps. And I’m giving myself permission to claim all the Do-overs that will be needed and survive in the process. And definitely laugh along the way.

For now, I celebrate deciding on an blog host and platform, creating an actual blog site, adding content and creating an email address: UnleashingVoices@gmail.com. I’m overriding all the “get it right” thoughts for a later time but this is a start. One day I’ll get to the pretty pictures and fancy icons and the “high domain authority” and “SEO Rankings” stuff (I’m learning to speak a foreign language. Ha!) But all of this is the NOW step for a new and bigger mission being revealed. I’ll share more about that when the time comes. For now, I’m working to swap the questionable “right thing” mindset for the “next thing” mindset and trust I’ll get it right along the way. Thanks for coming along and you have permission to lovingly laugh out loud at me too.

Kerry is in having cataract surgery # 1 this morning. I’m waiting in the car for the next 2 hours watching a light drizzle outside (thankfully keeping it cool) and I‘m deciding how to use this unusual car-bound quiet time. I’m not at home looking around seeing unfinished tasks, nor the things needing to be returned to their place. The dishwasher blinking its green light still telling me to come unload it. My desk with my “special piles” so I can keep up with “things”. (Keeping the Out of sight, Out of mind philosophy at bay.) I can say with delight I did mop the floors this morning pre-surgery so the fuzzies and dust bunnies aren’t floating around when we get home. I figure that is good for post-operative care. Yah!

So what to do with this time. I refuse to squander it in the scroll hole and will fight temptation to take a nap. I wonder if I get Brownie points for being prepared. I brought a book to read, my study notebook, my Bible and journal, note cards to color and new notebooks to get better organized. Sounds kind of impressive… or maybe it’s a symptom of being non-committal. The desire to keep my options open runs deep within me. Somehow it makes me feel like I’m not boxed in and actually it fans my flame of being adventurous and I usually gravitate in that direction. But I’m learning, well actually have learned, that having a plan of action can be good and serve me better. Serve others better. To exchange the time and energy of uncertainty for focus and clarity is so much more freeing than being non-committal. The goal is how to do that while leveraging it with adventure. Hmmm… good question.

Sometimes there’s a tension inside feeling the need to “Do” when I’m tired of Doing. I can say to myself, “Get busy. Don’t be lazy” yet in just a bit realize how good it feels to sit down because I’ve been on my feet for hours. What determines if we’ve had a “successful” day? What is the bar that we compare ourselves to? (Red Flag – “Compare”) Is it what I’ve accomplished? If I’ve gone through my check-off list? Had a great convo? Connected with my family? Unloaded the dishwasher? It seems like I, and maybe We, connect success in our day mostly with things. Sometimes things need to be the priority, but not always. The “Doing” doesn’t counterbalance the “Being”. When I operate from my “Being” then what to “Do” reveals itself. And it makes more sense than my non-committal randomness in which I’ve felt much too comfortable. (More on that at a later time!) A wise friend told me yesterday that sometimes we need to tell our “Do-er Heart” Thank you for helping us do so much but now it can be quiet and take a rest. To stop having to Do and lean into something deeper. And more about Being. I’m taking that to heart. (pun intended) Knowing what to do and when to do it is far greater and brings greater impact than just “doing”. {At this point my mind is spinning off in so many directions that I just made a list of 14 topics for later pondering in words.}

As I started this today I wanted to invest my time and not waste it because time is a precious gift and we are not guaranteed the next moment so I’m trying to waste less of it. And since they just called to say my sweet hubby is doing well and ready to go I realize my time was not wasted. Praying. Texting with a friend just diagnosed with breast cancer. Sitting and being OK with doing what I committed to do by learning to better use my voice. Breaking the walls of staying comfortable. Success is not determined by how perfectly these things were done but that they were done and came from the place of my “Being”. And that feels much better and life-giving than a check-off list. So I wonder what I’ll do next week for cataract surgery # 2 ???

So OK. I’m going to start a blog. (I have NO idea how to officially do that but will figure it out) Not to jump on the bandwagon. Not to be a social medial guru. (Is a blog considered social media? And right now I have a love/hate relationship with S.M.) Not to document all my thoughts. Not because I have an agenda or message I want to get out. Not to convince anybody of anything… I’m starting here because I am abundantly clear that I am to use my voice in ways I never have. More than I ever have. More from my heart even in the ugly and wandering. Even in the WOW times and whatever comes after that whether it is an up-leveling or a semi crash. For 95% of my life I’ve felt I have messages within me but have not trusted my “voice” to share them. Thus my struggle because I believe we are made to share. How else do we remain humble and encourage others even when it’s what NOT to do. And how can our deepest God-given gifts and passions and identity impact the world and those around us but that we “raise our voice” and share? My husband Kerry, aka Sugar Lips, gave me a pair of socks for my recent birthday that say “Don’t over think it”. He knows me so well!! In wanting to “play nice” I became really good at over thinking from most every aspect and then analysis paralysis often jumped in and viola… nothing happens…no progress forward… So here is my disclaimer: I am not going to over think what I am writing here. I am not going to spend hours going back to whittle it down to be articulately concise striving to sound professional and impressing myself with Aha now it’s right! Or even worry that this is one loooong paragraph which I know better than to do. Nope. I am just using this space to begin to use my voice and grow my appreciation and value of it. To learn to be unleashed to speak life and step into my unique identity. To lean into my uniqueness instead of running from it or silence it. When we don’t know our voice or how to use it we can suffocate or withdraw sometimes feeling like we don’t belong or don’t have a way or permission to contribute. I’ve talked a lot in my life and am very relational. However there has been a consistent struggle within me knowing there is more. There is something missing. So for now all I know is my next step is to lean in and learn to use my voice… And so let the adventure begin. The good. The mess. The real. My heart… I’m gonna do this (the voice thing) because God is opening my eyes, revealing my heart – we are all a work in progress – and in child-like faith I’m going to trust Him more than I trust myself. My friends you are welcome to come along with me on this journey, and I would love that, yet I give no promises where it will go or even if it will add value for now or speak to you. But that’s not my job. That’s up to Him.